I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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