...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
