There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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