there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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