just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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