I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Found your dick twin last night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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