I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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