YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
