So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
