I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
