There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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