Nicole vs. Life
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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