Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
