Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
