After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
