We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We are two peas in an std pod
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
