I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
