Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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