You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
