If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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