why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
