well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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