She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
