are you so shy because you have an std?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
