I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
