last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
