I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
