small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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