Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize