I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize