So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
