Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
