I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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