return my video game
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
