So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize