Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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