everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize