you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
