A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
