oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
