just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
