dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize