This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
