Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
