my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize