i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
