i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
