So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
