the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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