I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
