you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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