Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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