4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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