totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
